The journey to God is not meant to be a solitary journey. As we walk this earthly path we walk in communion with others. Often God’s desires for us are made known through the wise guidance, support, and loving challenge of another person. Every faith tradition in the world has seeker-guide relationships. Jesus, who drew people into relationship, walked with them, and illuminated their lives with the startling truth of His Father’s Kingdom, is the template for all spiritual directors in the Christian tradition. This resource guide has been designed to help you to understand the nature of spiritual direction and to give you some practical tools to help you to get started in your search for a director.

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What is Spiritual Direction?

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Spiritual direction is meeting with a trained and experienced director to reflect on how God is present and active in your life right now, and how God might be calling you into deeper relationship. God is the Director; the human director serves as the vessel through which the Spirit works to uncover and discover the Divine at work in your everyday experiences. The content of the direction session is simply your life: whatever aspect, story, or experience you feel moved to bring to prayer and reflection. You the seeker, your director, and the Holy Spirit meet in holy conversation so “you may have life and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

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Above all, your spiritual director listens and helps you to come clear about the hints and guesses, the invitations, and the “nudgings” of the Spirit in your life. He/she helps you to be aware, to notice, to “wake up” to the spiritual relationship you have with God. Your director may help you with discernment, spiritual practices, methods of prayer, and at times suggest scripture and other spiritual reading that may enlighten your path. He/she is present as a compassionate, and respectful witness to the joys and sorrows of your journey. Together you pray for that “closer walk” with God. Prayer is part of your session and your director continues to hold you in prayer between sessions.

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What Spiritual Direction is Not

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Spiritual direction is not psychotherapy, counseling, or any other type of therapy. It is nota dependent relationship in which your director holds all the wisdom and answers to your problems. Your director does not “tell you what to do”, but rather helps you to discern what God may be calling you to be or to do. God is already at work in your life. You come to your session ready to be still, and together with your director, in the presence of the Holy Spirit, to listen to the truths of your story as God reveals God’s self through the everyday happenings of your life.

 

Who Are Spiritual Directors?

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Spiritual directors have been called to their ministry. There is a yearning for “connectedness” in this human life. God calls us through interaction with other persons. We are meant to tell our stories. To do that, we often need someone with the gifts and wisdom to listen and to hear the holy truth underneath our story line. A spiritual director is first and foremost called, and gifted, and then seeks the training, knowledge, and skills to wholeheartedly respond to God’s prompting to be the vessel through which God’s Spirit can work.

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Sometimes other names are used for a spiritual director such as guide, companion, or mentor. The director is not a guru, but rather a seeker him/her self who has, as Marjorie Thompson says, “traveled some distance along the path of the Christian life.” Your director also meets on a regular basis with a spiritual director and so on, as we disciples listen and pray each other into our divine potential.

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Spiritual directors may be lay persons, clergy, or members of a religious community. They can be male or female, married, or single, of any religious denomination. The directors listed in this resource are all Roman Catholic. Qualities most evident in good spiritual directors are listening skills, compassion, the ability to both challenge and encourage, a knowledge of today’s Church as well as a solid grounding in the tradition of the faith, especially sacred scripture, and an ability to integrate it with everyday life. Seekers look for a trustworthy companion with a mature faith who is also on the journey, yearning for God, always growing and learning. Spiritual directors keep strict confidentiality. This is vital as it enables you to share openly what is on your mind and in your heart.

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Most spiritual directors belong to peer supervision groups with whom they meet on a regular basis. The purpose of these groups is to provide the members support and feedback regarding their work as spiritual directors and to hold them accountable in their ministry. These meetings are conducted in a prayerful Directees often express a desire for guidance in their spiritual practices or their use of scripture or other spiritual reading. If you and your director surface some practices or readings that you might like to try, your guide will be checking with you to see how those practices are coming along. It is expected that the seeker will prepare for the upcoming session with some reflection. Reviewing one’s journal if applicable, or simply a quiet time of reviewing the past month is helpful preparation for the session.

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What Does a Direction Session Look Like?

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A spiritual direction session typically lasts one hour and is held in a space prepared by the director, perhaps at his/her office, or at a retreat center, or the provincial house of a religious order. The space prepared is a place of quiet and prayer, set apart from the busyness of daily life. The seeker enters a safe and caring environment in which the sharing is confidential.

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The session begins with a quieting of some sort as both seeker and director enter into the sacred time and space. Perhaps a candle is lit, a chime sounded, silence is held, spontaneous or other prayer is voiced. The seeker always determines the content of the session as he/she responds to an opening query from the director such as, “How has your month been?” or “How has God been working in your life these last weeks?” or “How would you like to begin?”

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As the session unfolds, the seeker brings his/her lived experience into the light of prayerful reflection. The director listens, witnesses, and helps to clarify, at times challenges, and draws out the “God thread” in the seeker’s story. The director may pose questions such as:

• How were you called to trust God in this experience?

• How is your heart? What lies heavy on your heart? Is your heart opening? What is restricting your heart?

• What do you desire? For what do you yearn?

• What does this have to say to you about God? What does God have to say to you about this?

• Is God nudging you to some action in your life? Is God asking you to wait?

• For what are you most grateful? Least grateful?

• What are your hopes and dreams for tomorrow?

• How would you like me to pray for you this month?

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As the session draws to a close, the director may summarize what he/she has heard in your story or may emphasize an insight the Spirit has brought forth in the session. He/she may recommend prayer forms, scripture, spiritual reading, or spiritual practices for the next month. Perhaps the director will share a poem or prayer with you to end the session. You, your director, and the Holy Spirit may sit in silence for a few moments before leaving. Seekers and their directors have a committed relationship and so punctuality and respect for each other’s time is a given. Life being what it is, sometimes appointments have to be rearranged. Advance notice is always appreciated. Most sessions last for one hour and often your director will have another seeker scheduled shortly after your hour ends.

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What Does Each Party Owe to the Other?

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Keeping the time frame can be challenging (the richness of our spiritual journeys overruns the cup and so we may be tempted to go on past the appointed time), but the time frame needs to be held as closely as possible. Sessions are generally scheduled every four to six weeks. If it seems there is too much that needs saying in one hour, sometimes a session every two weeks is appropriate. Some seekers might desire more frequent sessions during a period when life is especially tumultuous. For some seekers every other month works best. These arrangements can be discussed with your director during your initial conversation and adjusted as needed throughout the relationship.

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The decision to enter the relationship must be done prayerfully and must be a “good fit” for both seeker and director. Some directors ask that once you have entered into the spiritual guidance relationship, you commit to it for a period of four to six months in order to give it an adequate chance to develop. Other directors ask each time, “Would you like to schedule another appointment?” The decision by either party to withdraw from the relationship is to be respected by both persons.

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Ending a Spiritual Direction Relationship

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Not all seekers and directors are a good fit for each other. Experienced, qualified directors are very aware of this. It is always best for both parties to be honest when one or the other senses the relationship is not life-giving or has come to a natural end because of human limitation or life changes. The seeker/guide relationship is grounded in mutual respect and so the “ending conversation” usually turns out to be a graced time that is not as difficult as one might anticipate. There is something to be grateful for in every relationship whether it has lasted a short or a long time. An individual may need different directors for different stretches of the journey. Professional spiritual directors are attuned to that reality and so ending the relationship is not taken as a personal critique.atmosphere, with attentive listening for the promptings of the Spirit.